Thousands who left Russia after the 2022 invasion say travel bans, cost and security fears have stopped them from attending funerals. Psychologists warn the act of leaving can start a hidden grief that makes bereavement harder, and suggest practical ways to find closure.
Many Russians who fled the country after the full-scale invasion of Ukraine are facing a second loss: they cannot return to say goodbye when relatives die. Between an estimated 650,000 and 1 million people left Russia after early 2022, and halted flights, steep travel costs and fears of detention often make trips home impossible.
Those barriers hit people fast. One man using a pseudonym, Pyotr Trofimov, learned his father had died just three weeks after arriving in Germany. Direct flights were no longer available and a round trip would have cost thousands of euros. He turned to a psychologist to cope with the shock and says grief has been slow to arrive.
Others cite security threats. Polina Grundmane, founder of the Russia-focused support NGO Without Prejudice, says threats of detention left her unable to return when both her parents died within months of each other. She told DW that "time doesn't heal everything — it's possible to not get over a loss," and that she has delayed processing some of her grief to protect herself.
Therapists working with Russian-speaking migrants say the pain often starts with migration itself. Olga Harlamova, a Munich-based psychotherapist, says emigration brings layered losses — jobs, friends, status — and that losing a close family member on top of that compounds the trauma. She recommends farewell rituals people can do from afar, like writing letters, displaying photos or planting a tree, and emphasizes the simple value of presence and listening for those supporting the bereaved.
Source: World | Deutsche Welle
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